My coworker is on vacation, and I am killing her plant. I have watered it, talked to it, dusted its leaves, and fertilized its soil. This is particularly bad, because I want to plant a garden one day and clearly do not have a green thumb. Oh, and also bad because she won’t be back for another week, giving me ample time to finish the plant’s total annihilation.
To tell the truth, I think the plant is pouting (and based on this suspicion, I deduced that the plant is spoiled and named it Fifi). Fifi is an ivy and lives on the file cabinet behind me. I also think she is a bit of a masochist, who is cruelly willing her leaves to turn yellow and brown and brittle for the sole purpose of getting me into deep shit with my coworker. Either that, or I think I need this upcoming vacation really badly. Imagine, suspecting an ivy of sabotage…
…when everyone knows it’s always the ferns.
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